Sunday, August 20, 2023

Reflection on my mental state

My mental condition has been oscillating between complacency and deep frustration with my life. Most of the time, I am not happy.

I have a job that pays well, or well enough to not feel pity about it (by Bay area standard). While it is not in the top tier, sometimes I feel good enough that most of my material needs can be met. There really isn't much to complain about for what I already have.

My unhappiness mostly stems from self-comparison to my friends and peers. 10 years in, many others earned higher ranks or income in their careers, even though I tried my best where I could make a difference. I have learned that many things won't turn up how I wish them, but I yet need to accept the uncomfortable reality.

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